For the first time in a long time I feel my world opening up to new inspiration and a new direction; while still feeling a connection to the past. The move has freed me to explore, and yet I remain somewhat anchored to a formula that has been my signature. I suppose it's the insecurity demons circling, telling me not to mess with what has worked. Lord knows I've been ready for a change for a couple of years now; it's not just the Council stint that took my focus off what I had created successfully and happily for 20 years. But, now in a sense I'm back to square one - a place where I'm shy about showing my work, not knowing how it will be received. I love the thrill of starting anew, and yet worry of losing my edge. This move has been cathartic, though. An evolution is taking form, and I'm hoping that it will be in a good direction.
Dave will come in to look over my shoulder every now and again, and leave without saying a word. While I know he lost in his own world, having just walked down the hall from his own work space, but I find myself frantically wondering if he is disapproving of my changes? I have to resist the urge to throw myself over my work and telling him to not look until it's done. The insecurity, it never quite leaves.
Quite honestly, I am excited about moving forward. I find myself getting frantic about having enough time, as though there is some end to this coming down the pike...(geez, I hope that's not prophetic thinking)...in reality I think it's just an urgency to get going. That's a good thing.
More to come.